“Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?” – Rumi
Hello! I’m liking this idea of starting each post with a quote that speaks to me and my headspace. I love the above quote because it speaks to something that causes me fear and anxiety…. change. Any kind, bad or good. I am happiest with routine. Any life changes that alter my routine tend to create stress and anxiety for me, but I’m working on it!
This week started out rough, to say the least. I was super anxious on Sunday evening and had a couple panic attacks that night… then felt a bit better the next morning but then had a stressful talk with my mom about my issues that threw me into a pretty bad breakdown, the worst I’ve had in years. I was feeling so overwhelmed I had to sit on the floor of the bathroom twice with the overhead fan on just to try to calm down and quiet my mind. So yeah, SHITTY morning. But, I felt like I let a LOT of negative energy go. I had an appointment with my doctor that afternoon that went well, and that evening I felt a lot calmer (and emotionally exhausted). I think I was trying to resist the changes that are going to happen with my treatment and recovery, but now I’m feeling more open to what’s to come.
- Happiness and stability: obviously I cannot expect myself to be constantly happy, but I do want to achieve a more general happiness where I am able to cope with my symptoms. I want to feel stable and in control.
- Health and well-being: I want to feel and look healthy. This goal and my previous one intertwine quite a bit. I plan to focus on eating a healthy, mostly plant-based diet (I’m a pescetarian, also attempting to cut out most dairy) and continue with a good exercise routine.
- Success and achievement: being successful in my recovery will be a great achievement alone, but also getting back to work (or maybe school) and contributing to the community again will feel nice too. The important thing is that I focus on my recovery now and put my energy into getting well, so that I can have success later on.
- Morning routine: as I mentioned, I do well with routine. I started this routine yesterday… alarm at 6am, get up, light a candle, read and journal for 30ish minutes, then do a 10-15 minute meditation. After that I’ll have breakfast and then head to yoga class or do a workout at home. I’ve only done two mornings so far but I already feel more in control of my days.
- Yoga 4-5 times per week: I joined my moksha yoga studio about a year ago to deal with my ongoing anxiety. Since then it has been a safe haven, one place where I know I’ll leave feeling better than when I walked in. I took a little hiatus for a few months this summer but I started up again this week.
- Exercise at home 3 times per week: along with my regular yoga practice, I’ll be working out at home for 30 mins 3 times a week. I love Kayla Itsine’s bikini body guide, I did the full 12-week program two years ago with great results, and started again this summer. I’ve definitely missed some weeks but I plan to start with week 6 on Monday. The workouts are HIIT circuit training (high intensity interval training).
- Counselling once a week: I meet with a new counsellor tomorrow afternoon, and if all goes well I’ll hopefully be seeing her every week
- Medication: I switched my meds over in July/august from Cyprolex to Cymbalta, and I’ve noticed significant improvement with the stability of my moods and a decrease in the frequency on my anxiety. Of course I can’t expect a pill to completely eliminate my symptoms, and I’m happy to treat my remaining symptoms with therapy and self-help.
- Acupuncture?: this one wasn’t really my idea, my mom suggested it, but I’ve always been curious so it will be cool to try out. Acupuncture can help with anxiety and depression, and it’s covered under my health insurance, so I booked an appointment for Monday. We will see how it goes!
- Blog twice a week!: I’ll posting here on Sundays and Wednesdays. I’m also on instagram as @lotusflowerlife9, where I’m posting more frequently.
So there are my goals and my plan for recovery 🙂 I hope posting this will hold me more accountable to really stick to my recovery plan. I feel confident just having typed it out.
The rest of my day includes baking black beans brownies (second batch since yesterday, testing recipes and you can never have too much chocolate to go around..) and a moksha/yin class this evening.
Thanks for listening!